Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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