in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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