butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
