Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
