I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
