im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
