I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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