The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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