This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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