you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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