your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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