I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
