Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
