YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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