I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize