Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
