I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize