Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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