She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
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My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
This is the high leading the old right now
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At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..