This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.