i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...