Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
