Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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