Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Randomize
