nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
