Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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