so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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