You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
