I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i was born a porn star she said
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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