If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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