If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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