I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
