Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
