mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
