nut hugger
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
