All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Randomize
