Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I understand Curling. That high.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
