is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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