I'm really into asian looking animals
well you can't waste a boner
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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