Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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