I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
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I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
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Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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