i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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