I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
