reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
