i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
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