i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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