Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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