omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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