I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Randomize
