im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He kissed a someone with a penis
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
