I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
