is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
