Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
