Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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