He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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