i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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