i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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