she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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