Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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