..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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