THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
